EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX, BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK

Sex is a naughty thing to do, right? It is something that naughty people do to each other, when they want to be naughty. Or am I just talking sh*t? I am, aren't I? Just like the Director and Star of this film: Woody Allen; plus his fellow Actors: Burt Reynolds and Gene Wilder. They all started talking sh*t in 1973, and it lasted for 88 minutes.

Everything...

THE STORY:

'Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask' is Woody Allen’s comedic take on the best selling novel of the same name. Prudently, this sketch film is divided into several chapters, each of which explores different avenues of sexual perversion:

THE JESTER: In medieval times, a jester (Woody Allen), finds himself in a very difficult situation indeed - his dead father wants him to ‘make love’ to the Queen - but the Queen does not want anything to do with him. So what does he do about it? Well, simple really: (1) The jester obtains a 'love potion' from an alchemist. (2) He breaks into the Kings Castle. (3) He penetrates the Queens bedchamber. And (4) He drugs the Queen, so that he can have his wicked way with her.

Now does this all work out for the best? Err - lets just say that the Jester gets a funny head, OK!

THE SHEEP: Milos, an Armenian shepherd, goes to see an American doctor (Gene Wilder), to tell him that he has made love to his sheep called Daisy. However, this isn't the problem, oh no, the problem is that Milos thinks that the sheep has fallen out of love with him, and asks if the doctor can talk to Daisy, and persuade her to love him once more.

Strange thing to ask, right? Though, not as strange as what the doctor then does with the sheep next - which does have its ups and downs.

THE ITALIANS: A newly wed married couple (Woody Allen and Louise Lasser) are having problems making love. OK - to be frank with you - the husband is having problems, because his wife is somewhat icy during the act of love making.

Still, after a lot of huffing a puffing, they both find a way - and a somewhat overt way too.

THE TRANSVESTITE: Sam and his wife reluctantly attends a dinner party held by their son-in-laws parents. Now during dinner, Sam excuses himself from the dinning table, and then sneaks upstairs to dress-up in the lady of the houses dresses. But alas, whilst in the act, the father-in-law interrupts him, and Sam jumps out the window for fear of being caught.

Ooops! What next transpires is even more awkward in fact.

THE QUIZ SHOW: In this episode of ‘What’s my perversion’, a panel of judges fails to guess Bernard Jaffe’s sexual proclivity (it’s something that he like to do in public).

Also, as a special bonus, Rabi Chiam gets to carry out his own particular peccadillo live on the show, WHIP!

THE TIT: Through a chance encounter, Victor (Woody) and Helen, travels to the house of the famous sexual inventor, Dr. Bernardo, so that they can gauge from him, how he devises his inventive ways. However, the doctor is a f*cking nut, and in turn, goes mental during dinner. Worst still, is that a massive mutant tit that he created breaks free from his lab, and then starts to cause havoc to all whom crosses its path.

Now can Victor and Helen do anything to get there hand on this massive tit? Or will they just be sucking milk?

THE INCEPTION: Inside every human being, there's a group of little men whom govern our every move (Burt Reynolds being one of them). And do you know what? Today is the day that Mister X is going to get lucky with misses New York state - thus guiding these little men to pull leavers, flick switches, slide knobs, and overall, manipulate the internal workings to commit this act of... sigh... love.

Unfortunately, the biblical conscious tries its best to halt this ‘perversion’ – causing one of the sperms (Woody) to doubt his task. Not for long though.

THE REVIEW:

Now what can I say about 'Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask', huh? Well, for a start, I can say that it is a sketch film. Next, I can say that it is a fractured and stylish sketch film. After that, I can say that it is a fractured and stylish sketch film involving sexual practices. And finally, I can say that it is one of the most funniest fractured and stylish sketch film involving sexual practices, that I have ever seen in my life.

Oh! And it it bonkers too.

Well, you see, during the fractured path this film takes, Woody has managed to capture varying styles in this vast subject matter - just like the original book, written by Doctor David Rubens. For example, the Italian section of the film, is not only spoken in Italian, but also captures that Italian fashionista type way - with the blatant poses and dramatic styling's. Then, in the ‘tit’ section of this film, the style changes into a mid-sixties b-list movie pastiche - with the usages of over abundant dramatic emphasis when something bad is about to happen. Also, the quiz show is captured in the style of an old black and white quiz show, similar to ‘What’s my line’ - etc, etc, etc...

Personally speaking, this is what makes 'Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask' more than just a sketch film - it makes it a sketch film with a touch of class - as it gives each segment a life of it’s own, whilst also touching upon a provocative subject matter also.

However, as for the subject matter itself? Well, I find that nothing is shown in a gratuitous way, instead, it is implied with innuendo and farcical routines - which makes this comedy all the more special - magical even.

Here, check out my favorite segment of this movie, so you can see what I mean...