TRANSPORTER 2

Cars are great, aren't they? They look good. They take you from A to B. They are comfortable to sit in. They are fast. Plus they can speak to you too. HUH? What do you mean that cars can’t speak? I saw it on that television program with the German git in it. Dusseldorf. Oh! OK then. I best watch another car related program instead. Like this one Directed by Louis Leterrier; and Starring: Jason Statham, Alessandro Gassman, Matthew Modine, and Jason Flemyng. It was made in 2005 and lasts for 88 minutes.


Transporter 2


THE STORY:
Very fast driver, Frank Martin (Jason Stratham), has a very intense dilemma to deal with at the moment. But does it have anything to do with: (A) That he is the chauffeur for the wealthy politician, Jefferson Billings (Mathew Modine). (B) That Jefferson’s wife, Audrey (Amber Valletta), has feelings for him. (C) A friend of his from France, Inspector Tarconi (Francois Berleand), is visiting him from out of town. Or (D) That he has had to save Jefferson’s son, Jack (Hunt Clar), from a group of assassins, when he takes him to the dentist.

Well, to be completely honest with you, Frank does not have any problem with this what so ever. His intense dilemma starts just after the debacle at the dentist, when he is forced at gunpoint by femme-fatale, Lola (Kate Nauta), to kidnap Jack once more, under the instructions of the well groomed mercenary, Gianni Chellini (Alessandro Gassman).

Damn.

Now it is pretty safe to say that this strange turn of events causes an awful lot of trouble for Frank, both with the police and with Gianni alike. You see, although he manages to nab Jack and deliver him to Gianni, getting away Scott Free. When he then tries his best to figure out what is going on by contacting Jack's Mum, Audrey, she cannot help him, because she and her husband are both in protective custody.

OK, so who can help him then? Strangely enough, Frank himself. He finds a piece of evidence which the group of assassins tried to use on Jack at the dentists you see – a syringe. And with a bit of help from Tarconi, tracks down one of Gianni’s main henchmen, Dimitri (Jason Flemyng), to get to the source of the problem.

Meanwhile, while all of this is going on, Jack is strangely released back into his parents care. So everything should be alright then, huh?

Nope – I am afraid not.

Swiftly, through Frank’s machinations with Dimitri, Frank figures out that Jack has been injected with a fateful and contagious virus – one that only Gianni has the cure for. Worst still, is that Jack has inadvertently infected his Mother and Father with this ghastly contagion too.

So what do you think Frank does about this, huh? Obtain a small vial of this cure, and then give it to Audrey so she can give it to her son? Yes - he does that. But in addition to this, what next transpires is fast – wild – hard – wet – hair-raising – and heart wrenching all in all. But ultimately this results in a new beginning for Frank.

 Or should that be an old beginning?

THE REVIEW:
From my somewhat jaded point of view, 'Transporter 2' is the ultimate television commercial. Its bold. Its fast paced. Its pithy in action. Its sparse on dialogue. But ultimately, it presents a product that most people would visually enjoy.

However, did I enjoy it? Hmm? So-so really. I like my films to have more of a story you see, whereas this one is just a new way of presenting a tried and tested genre of action cinema. Now please don’t get me wrong when I say this dear reader, what is on show is very well crafted. Its just that this is the type of film with more style than substance in the execution, and does not really float my boat on a conceptual level.

OK, so what do I mean by all of this? Well, personally speaking of course, the actions sequences – although very well executed – is a tad too cosmetic in the presentation. Well, with every move made, I was half expecting someone to hold-up a household detergent, and then state how their whites have never been more whiter. Also, from a story perspective, the main pretext does seem to become second fiddle to the action scenes – with more fists swung than declarations made.

Please note, this is no message movie by any stretch of the imagination – unless that message is to always hire a chauffeur who was once a mercenary, so that they can save your kid just in case a bad guy wants to inject them with a deadly virus (only nine, ninety-nine, ninety-nine).

For me, the only redeeming feature where ‘Transporter 2’ is concerned, are the actors. The women, Amber and Kate, carve out there respective roles very well. With Amber the comely soccer mum, and Kate the scantly clad vixen. The ally – François – plays a very good second fiddle in this film too. I just wished that we could have seen more of him in this movie. The same can also be said for Jason Flemyng and Matthew Modine as well, the Russian henchman and the politician respectively, who I thought could have been utilized more due to their erstwhile acting talents. Oh! And as for Jason Statham – well – he’s Jason Statham, isn't he? He knows this role inside and out by now. He is the man with no name in a car, with a touch of Jackie Chan thrown in for good measure.

In my opinion, the only week link ‘acting wise’ in this flick, is the main villain – Alessandro Gassman – because he does look like that he has just wandered onto the set from a Hugo Boss commercial.

Still, you can’t have it all, can you! And I suppose this statement does sum up ‘Transporter 2’ to a tea overall. But if you like your action fast paced, full of style, and very pretty looking, look no further – as this is a film for you. Right Jay?

Sod you then.

THE RATING: C+