X-MEN - THE LAST STAND

Mutants. Is this breed of homo-superior humanity’s last hope? Or is it its first failure? And if it is the latter of these two scenarios, why the f*ck are any of us still alive? Hmmm? God knows? And if not God, then Director: Brett Ratner; or Actors: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Sir Patrick Stewart, Sir Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, and Rebecca Romijn. They would know this in 2006, and for approximately 104 minutes.


X-Men: The Last Stand

THE STORY:

After twelve years of being an X-men, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen)  dies. After many months of incarceration, Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) is still incarcerated. And after many years of research, the government finally finds a ‘cure’ for the mutant gene.

So what are any of the relevant parties involved going to do about it?

Well – for the government – they start an anti-mutant campaign, and rally support to suppress all of mutant-kind. For the mutant-rebel – Magneto (Sir Ian McKellen) – he uses this anti-mutant sentiment to his advantage, and gathers a gang of likeminded mutants to aide him free Mystique. And for the X-men, they urge governmental aide, Hank McCoy / Beast (Kelsey Grammer), to find out more about this ‘cure’.

However, where as Hank is successful in finding out the source of this cure – a young boy with mutant repelling abilities. Magneto and his gang on the other hand, are only partly successful in there endeavors. They free Mystique and some additional mutants, but in doing, so gains two, James Madrox (Eric Dane) and Caine Marko (Vinnie Jones), but losses one to the cure, Mystique.

 

So what about Jean? Jean is not dead, Jean is alive, and telepathically guides X-man, Cyclops (James Marsden) to where she is on a lake. Unfortunately, though, Jean is not the same old Jean, and she freaks out as soon as they embrace.

OK, so what does ‘freak out’ mean? Well, when Logan (Hugh Jackman) and Storm (Halle Berry) track down Scott with the help of Professor X (Sir Patrick Stewart), they find Scott’s glasses and Jean, and then take them both back to the X-mansion for further study. And it is here – within a lab – that Professor X tells Logan about Jeans true nature, and how he had to dampen her abilities when he first met her because she could not control them. But now – due to her rebirth – he has no way of knowing if this is still the case. 

So what is Jean now? Regrettably, Logan is the first to find out – as she taints him with her dark presence, she tells him that she killed Scott, before she bats him to one side and flees the X-mansion. The second people to find out about Jean, are Professor X and Magneto – as they both individually track her down to the home she once lived in and fight. Granted, both Logan and Storm are present when this is happening, and so are Caine and James too. But alas, this is not enough, as Jean kills Professor X and is then coursed away by Magneto.

Please note, the death of Professor X signals dark days ahead for all in sundry, mainly because Magneto rallies forth an army of Mutants to wreck havoc upon humankind.

OK, so the government are prepared to combat this stance with the cure and an army of their own. But still, is this good enough?

The X-men don’t think so – and that is why they rally the school together to intercept this battle. Initially, Wolverine tries this on his own. But subsequently, with a gantry of youthful mutants, including Hank and Warren Worthington (Ben Foster) in toe.

Now what next transpires is long, arduous, and hard fought. As humans are kidnapped – cures are obtained – soldiers die – mutants die – mutants are cured – all resulting in Jean verses Logan. But whom do you think will win bub?

SNITT!

In the aftermath of this event, a speck of light is sprinkled upon both mutant and human kind – and a revelation is made after the end credits, HA!

THE REVIEW:

'X-Men - The Last Stand' is a very hard film. OK, I am sure that your wondering to yourself what I mean by this bold statement. Hard to watch? Hard to understand? Or hard in temperament? Well, in all honesty, all three statements can be true.

Firstly, it is hard to watch because this film is so bleak and alarming. Within the first forty minutes, three of the cast are dispatched within a blink of an eye – two of them killed and one of them de-powered. It really comes as surprise I can tell you, as you do not see it coming at all. OK, you have to give the filmmakers some credit for trying to do something different to finalise the end of this film franchise. However, the way that these events occur is so startling – especially for a comic book fan – that whatever transpires next is tinged with a sense of bewilderment and sorrow.

Secondly, it is hard to understand because this film just zooms all over the place, and tries to appease both ‘fan boy’ and ‘consumer’ alike. Fair enough, by this third film you understand that there has to be some drama, some pathos, some love-interest, and some forethought.  It is just the way in which 'X-Men 3' tries to juggle all of these components together is sometimes peculiar and strange. For example, when Professor X dies, four minutes later Bobbi and Kitty Pride share a tender moment together on an ice-rink – with only a modicum of plot thrown into the mix due to the ‘Rogue’ element. Strange, huh?

Thirdly, this film has a hard temperament because it has a definite ending in mind. In all honesty, all of the new sub-plots introduced into this film do not seem to go anywhere, and only appear to be fleeting ‘character bits’ within a focal point that is heading towards a conclusion. OK, so this film does try to appease its audience by ending this franchise on a high note. But again, this is also done in a fleeting way.

Listen now, I do not want to sound all doom and gloom about ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’, as the cast is good – especially all the main players – and the special effects are just out of this world. There are some really nifty little moments in it for the ‘fan boys’ too, and I just loved the way in how Kelsey seemed to inhabit the Beast.

Overall, this last X-flick is a so-so movie, it’s bleak in tone, bold in direction, and is well worth a watch if you like comic book movies, or are a fan of the X-men in general. Agreed cast?

Qui?

THE RATING: B