BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN

Hi, my name is Borat, and I am going to write this shit for you today – HI-FIVE! Welcome to my 84 minute documentary I made in 2006, where I do something funny with a chicken, and then I go home to my mother and look at her vagin, NICE! Oh, I forgot to say, it was Directed by Larry Charles; and Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen and Pamela Anderson, YAK-SMASH!


Borat Film


THE STORY:
Me – Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen) – am asked by my government in Kazakhstan, to go to the US of nA, and make film about there way of life. My boss – Azamat (Ken Davitian) – come with me on flying bird, and we have fun together with a chicken on a train, NICE! Our hotel is big, and me drink from the toilet before I learn comedy from man who looks like my Uncle Yogma’s anus – NOT! But me have more fun after, when I see TJ on TV. She has blond hair, ass of 14 year old, and watermelons the size of my dead wife’s sister, HI-FIVE! Some lesbian man tells me TJ is called Pamela Anderson, and that she lives in California. So I decide to go there to try to have fun time with her.

On my way to California: (1) I learn how do drive with my hands. (2) I buy pussy magnet made into ice-cream van. (3) I speak to old man who is politician and I give him cheese made from tit. (4) Chocolate face politician tells me I have my anus raped by homo-sexual. (5) I buy pictures of Pamela Anderson from gypsy woman. (6) I sing anthem to a lot of peoples in hat’s in big ring and upset them. (7) More chocolate peoples tell me how to dress like them and I upset more peoples in hotel. (8) Me and Azamat escape from the Jews. (9) I break some old shit in shop and upset old man and his goat-faced wife. (10) I upset more people who I give my shit too, and then show them my prostitute. (11) Me and prostitute have good time on bull. And (12) Me and Azamat fight in the nude, and he leaves me with a chicken.

Alone – without no money – and looking like my dead wife’s cousin from Handmadeastan, I hitchhike closer to Pamela with the help of some monkey men who are drunk, and then find Jesus with the help from some ugly people with books. Next, I find Azamat on the street in California dressed as Hitler, and he also helps me get what I want – Pamela. OK, maybe not Pamela, but I get something anyway, IT’S NICE!

THE REVIEW:

OK. That's enough ‘Borat speak’ for now. As it is high time for my review on his film, ‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’. So, is it any good? No. Not good. IT’S NICE! No. Better than nice even. It’s f*cking brilliant.

Well, Sasha is one crazy b*stard I can tell you, as he has taken his un-egocentric foreign character – Borat – and then let him loose in America like a mad man with a cock in his bag. Now of course I do mean this in a good way. As Sasha has assessed the pitfalls of whomever he wishes to target, and then used Borat as a weapon to subvert, entertain, and then take the piss out of in his own unique way.

Well? Maybe ‘unique’ is not the right word to use from an English perspective. Because there have been many people before Sasha to do such a thing, though maybe not in the exact same way that he has. For example: (1) Paul Kaye had a character called Dennis Pennis, who blatantly slandered celebrities to there face. (2) Groucho Marx was a character within a character too, and he had a way of satirizing, just without the crude bravado. (3) Peter Sellers was a man who could disguise himself as anyone also, and he did do some crazy things to piss people off. And (4) Steve Coogan had two characters which he used to poke fun at the unsuspecting public with as well – Paul Calf and Alan Partridge.

OK, I am sure that there are more comedians out there who have done this type of thing before – but this piece is about Sasha – and how he has done it! For a start, this mockumentary is a good way for him to expand upon his already popular television career.  However, this can only be a one-time deal, as after this, the unsuspecting public will not be as so unsuspecting anymore. Moreover, if you are an aficionado of comedy – as I think I am – you can spot the basic building blocks Sasha utilized to make this venture so funny. (1) You find out how something works – both inside and out. And (2) You do the opposite of what it is you are supposed to do.

To illustrate what I am trying to say, there is a good scene in this film that demonstrates this perfectly. It’s the scene where Borat is talking to the women’s right group. All he has to do is undermine there principles in the yokel way that he conveys, and then sit back and see what happens next.

OK, I have to admit, you also need to have a lot of ball to be able to do this as well. Although that does not seem to be an issue where Sasha is concerned, does it?

I am sure that you can ascertain that I really like ‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’ from my words – and you would be perfectly right with this presumption. But I just cannot explain how much I like it! So – over to you, Borat...

‘The reviewer wants to make fun time with my movie. He wants to stick it up his anus and then dance the mambo with my dead wife’s sister who has the big watermelons. Then, he will stick my movie in the watermelons, and then do the toilet in her vagin’.

Oi – cut that out you lanky git! Anyway, I do like this movie, as it is up there with all of the other mockumentaries that I really love – such as ‘Spinal Tap’ and ‘The Ruttles’. So what are you waiting for? Lets dance to this great film...

It's Nice!!

THE RATING: A