WOLVERINE #312

[ I LIKE THIS BARGAIN! ] 

Oh sh*t, Sabertooth is back! And this time he will show you his crack! I find this very undignified. Especially when Wolverines just sighed. Because he doesn't know bandy about Jack. Or something like that anyway. Just ask Writer: Jeph Loeb; Artist: Simone Bianchi; and Publisher: Marvel Comics in August 2012. Or don't. I couldn't give a toss.

So what’s the STORY morning glory?

Have you ever had an argument at school with a teacher that looked like porn star, before fighting a pair of speaking tigers afterwards? No? Me neither. But if I did, I'm sure that it would be like this third part of 'Sabertooth Reborn' -- subtitled 'Remus'. Risky. Hairy. And kind of Horny too. 

• Just imagine if you will, your name is Wolverine, and you've just been told by your enemy's buxom sister -- called Remus -- that everything you've ever know in your life is nothing more than a lie.
• So what do you do in retaliation, huh? Throw her out of an airplane? Try and impale her on your shiny sticks? And after that turn Sabertooth into a Doner-kebab as well?
• Yeah. That sound like a plan, doesn't it? But please don't forget that sometimes the truth is very hard to swallow. So says your deepest darkest combatant, Romulus. 

Defiantly to be continued...

What is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

This was one of the most quotable issues of Wolverine I have read for quite some time now. Such as:

WOLVERIVE: 'Not a big fan of your family. How about I kill you?'.

WOLVERIVE: 'But there comes a time, even when you are a mutant super hero, where you have to take the Bull by the tail and face the situation'.

REMUS: 'Just remember I did ask nicely'.

SABERTOOTH: 'I come back from the dead and I'm the smarter one?'.

ROMULUS: 'The Weapon X program was -- is -- and always will be your idea Logan!'.

Boy-on-boy-oh-boy! Wasn't that last one a real zinger? Say no more.

What was the BEST thing about this issue?

Apart from the previously mentioned quote -- which I will elaborate more on later -- I have to say that the best thing about this story were the sub-stories written within it. Like 'The Lupine' recap for example. Or Remus' elaboration of mutant-kinds stake within human history. Personally speaking, I found both of these summations a real joy to read, and made this issue more than just another 'all-battle extravaganza'.  

What was the WORST thing about this issue?

To be perfectly honest with you, I only have one small gripe with this tale really. Why wouldn't Wolverine believe what Remus was saying to him until after they both fell out of the airplane? Was it something to do with her subsequent injury that made him believe? And if so, why? It didn't make any sense to me at all! Inadvertently making the fight in itself seem a bit too disposable as a scene in its own right.

What was the most CREATIVE thing about this issue?

STORY: The zinger at the end of this yarn was a very shocking revelation, wasn't it? To my knowledge this is the first time it's been said that Logan's association with the Weapon X program, is anything more than as a mere test subject. I am sure that you will agree with me when I say that this is a very tantalising concept to follow though on. Plus it is very creative too.

Though I wonder how it is all going to play out!

ART: Have you heard the comic book expression 'If you've seen one fight scene, you've seen them all'. If you have, then take it out of your mind, screw it up in a ball, and then throw it away, because artist, Simone Bianchi, draws fights like no man alive. Honestly, every action panel he illustrates has a vibrancy and a vigour to it, as if it was a painting hanging on a wall in a prestigious art gallery. Smashing stuff. Really smashing.

If you had to CAST TWO CHARACTERS in this comic book, who would they be and why?

WOLVERINE: Mainly because I am feeling rather tipsy at the moment, I feel like casting the main players in this story as if they were alcoholic beverages. Now I'd surmise Old Logan has to be something like a mature Scottish Malt Whisky. Golden on the outside, bitter on the inside.   

SABERTOOTH: Where as this ugly looking cat has to be something like a shot of Tequila. One gulp, and you want to feel sick afterwards.

If this issue had a MOVIE TAG LINE, what would it be?

If Your Enemy Is Telling The Truth, Does That Mean You Are The Real Villain Instead?

If this issue were a MOVIE, an OBJECT, or a piece of MUSIC, what would that be and why? 

There has been a song playing around in my head for quite a few days now, as if it was waiting in my mind for something to suddenly happen. It has. In this story. The song in question is the 1980's classic by Fleetwood Mac 'Little Lies'. I don't have to say any more than that, do I?

FINAL thoughts...

I originally thought that this grand story-line was going to be one big fight fest. I was wrong. Jeff and Simone have proven to me in this episode that there is a modicum of weight behind this arc, one that that is steeped in history and perverted truth which I can not wait to see more of.

Also, on a side note, did you know that the notion of Goblins came from ancient midgets living in medieval England? Plus, you can say the same thing too about Witches and women who have been inflicted with severe neurological problems! No joke. Honest. This has all been written down in proven history. And is one of the main reasons why I liked that whole 'Lupine' back-story very-very much. Let's see where this is heading next, shall we? I'm sure that it's going to be good.

Fingers crosses.  

MARKS out of 10? 9