JUSTICE LEAGUE #13

[ WHO WANTS A DISCOUNT? ] 

Say 'Hi' to the mysterious feline called 'The Cheetah'. She looks quite nice, like my mate, Rita. You know, as in 'the maid'. Who one time got laid. When she slept with a known player who beat-her. Allegedly. According to Writer: Geoff Johns; Artists: Tony S. Daniel and Brad Walker; plus Publisher: DC Comics in November 2012. Yeah-Yeah-Yeah!

So what’s the STORY morning glory?

Problems. Problems. Problems. The Justice League are faced with nothing but problems in this first part of 'The Secret Of The Cheetah'! Superman and Wonder Woman are confused about their budding romance. Cyborg thinks he more machine than man. Plus to top it all off, this super-group want to find out where the Cheetah is currently residing, because she has managed to knock Diana bandy.

• Yeah. Straight up. The villain-ness, the Cheetah. Wonder Woman's one time ally has suddenly turned feral, and no one knows where the hell she is.
• Granted, Colonel Steve Trevor knows about her past, but who will know about her future?
• Cyborg perhaps? And that is why the League 'boom-tube' over to the Congo for some recon?
• Oh! Thank God! Let's hope Superman doesn't get possessed by a cat-like spirit whilst he's there, huh? Or otherwise he'll turn the members of this team into cat-nip.

MEOW!....... sh*t.

Meanwhile, in the back-up feature, ex-League liaison, Colonel Steve Trevor, begins a new quest thanks to one of his old acquaintances. No. Not Amanda Waller. Green Arrow.

What is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

I got a right kick out of that scene where Cyborg was telling Barry about how he wasn't feeling like a man anymore, only for the Flash to reply back to him in turn, with...

FLASH: You're not a robot, Vic. Robots don't laugh at jokes or talk about their favorite televisions shows or worry that they're robots. Do you ever fantasize about making out with a toaster? 

CYBORG: No.

FLASH: I rest my case.

Ha! Now wasn't that a blast to read! And reminds me of the dynamic Vic had with Wally West back in the day. Very personable. Very personable indeed.

What was the BEST thing about this issue?

One of the shining stars for me in this issue; was the fact that you can start to see the Justice League taking shape as a team. Batman and Aquaman seem like the 'go to guys' for inquisitions. Flash and Cyborg are the 'recon and research' part of the force. And Superman and Wonder Woman are the powerhouses who want to bang each other.

Oh! This reminds me of something! But I'll leave that for the casting call me thinks.

What was the WORST thing about this issue?

If truth be told, presently I'm not that keen on the whole 'Cheetah strand' of this story-line. It felt a bit 'seen it all before' in execution. Without anything original coming out of it, except for the fresh tone of this book.

This is just a small gripe, though. And I understand that the best is yet to come.

What was the most CREATIVE thing about this issue?

STORY: I suppose the only real creative thing in this comic book is how Colonel Steve Trevor is being used in it. One minute he's the Leagues liaison. The next minute he's dumped by both Wonder Woman and the team. And now he some sort of 'Maxwell Lord figure' without being corrupted.

Hmm. It would be nice to see where this goes from here on in though. Most probably a plan to reform this new 'Justice League of America' perhaps? Sure. But what else?

ART: Now wasn't it very nice to see Tony Daniel drawing a team book for a change? Wow! What great stuff. I especially appreciated the look of the 'team building scenes' more than the opening 'fight scenes' myself. They had a warmer and congenial quality about them that aided this book with its own personality.

Also, I have to give a shout out to Brad Walker on the back-up feature too. I've missed his stuff since 'Hero's For Hire' took a nose dive over at Marvel. Nice to have you back, Brad. Please stick out around for a while, OK?  

If you had to CAST TWO CHARACTERS in this comic book, who would they be and why?

CHEETAH: I'm going to go all porn-centric again in this instalment of casting-call, and cast feline porn-star, Tera Patrick, to be this bad-ass villain with a very fine-ass.

Just look at Tera. Can't you tell she has all the right equipment for the job?

SUPERMAN: Now to keep in line with what I've said about Tera, I think it best that I cast the Man of Steel with the man who played him in a porn-related parody. Ryan Driller is his name -- and taking his clothes off is his game.

Just don't ask him to show you his chunk of Kryptonite, alright?

If this issue had a MOVIE TAG LINE, what would it be?

Never Handle A Possessed Dagger From The Congo Without Wearing The Proper Protection First. Trust Me. You'll Turn Into A Right P*ssy.

If this issue were a MOVIE, an OBJECT, or a piece of MUSIC, what would that be and why? 

Conceptually speaking, this is a story about people being taken over by their very own emotions. Wonder Woman's need for trust. Cyborg's need to feel like a man again. And Cheetah's need to play with a piece of string. Therefore, why not compare it to a song which is all about need?

Lovely, isn't it?

FINAL thoughts...

As much as I did like to see Cyborg speak about his true feelings in this yarn, in the same breath, haven't we 'Teen Titans' fans seen it all before? Well, come on, let's face it! Back in the day, the majority of the Wolfman / Perez run, already highlighted how Vic came to terms with his cybernetic other half. Also, haven't we seen him act aloof as well, when Vic's machine half took him over after 'The Titans Hunt saga'?

Yes. Yes we have. So do we need to retread old ground again, just for the sake of retro-continuity and DC's 'new audience'?

Oh, boy! Let's hope not. Because you can't improve on perfection, can you?

Plus, on a side note, did you understand Amanda's reference whilst speaking to Steve Trevor in the hospital? Nightshade reborn!!!!!

MARKS out of 10? 8.9