WOLVERINE #315

[ WHERE'S MY COUPONS? ] 

Do monsters and martial arts mix? Is it like a strange cocktail that kicks? Or is the reverse more true? Is it all a load of poo. Just like a fireplace made out of iced bricks. You know, like those aptly built in the houses of Writer: Cullen Bunn; Artist: Paul Pelletier; and Publisher: Marvel Comics in November 2012.

So what’s the STORY morning glory?

Poor Wolverine. I bet you anything he would rather be in his ex-girlfriends shoe than his own during this second part of 'Covenant'! Come on! Let's face it. All Melita Garner has to do, is tolerate the presence of the irritating Vanessa Barker, whilst researching her team's history in a library. But as for poor Logan on the other hand, he has to...

1. Defend himself against the martial arts master, Murderous Lion, in front of the mysterious 'Valley Of Gates'.
2. Accompany the buxom broad who recently shot him in the face with a shotgun -- Elsa Bloodstone -- into the Lions den.
3. Recollect why he allowed the allusive Dreaming Maiden to live all those years ago.
4. Out manoeuvre a rampaging robot before it sho...

BOOM!

Ops! Not again! To be continued.

What is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

Now being a bit of an expert on Hong Kong Cinema (click on the link for some proof), I did enjoy reading all of those phrases Murderous Lion spouted out from time to time during his fight with Wolverine. You know , like: 'Nights Smothering Darkness' -- 'Blood Of The Ten Shrieking Nightmares' -- 'Gushing Fount Of Merciful Torment' -- and 'ReeAkKGH!'.

Not because they were authentic. Oh no. They weren't. But because they all sounded like song titles written by the Wu-Tang Clan. Ha!

What was the BEST thing about this issue?

One of the stand-out segments for me in this yarn, were those scenes where Vanessa was irritating the hell out of Melita. You see, to a certain degree, this showed the personality of the two characters involved, whilst relaying personal exposition via the dialogue presented.

Isn't it great when you can get a 'two for one', huh? Especially a 'double-bubble' that looks very nice upon the printed page.

What was the WORST thing about this issue?

I've never been a big fan of the full on all out action comics myself. I just find this type of story too lop-sided as a tale, without it 'holding water' -- so to speak -- where an overall narrative is concerned.

Yep! This story was just such a story, and meandered too long in 'battles-vile' for my own liking.

What was the most CREATIVE thing about this issue?

STORY: Now apart from the Melita / Vanessa scenes I've mentioned already, I did get a kick out of the very creative way Wolverine twigged on to his own current physiognomy, when it was alluded to him by his opponent, Murderous Lion.

Nice turn up for the books, isn't it? When someone who's trying to kill you inadvertently helps you out with a memory glitch! Ha!

ART: If you've read my last review on Wolverine (click here is you're bothered), you'd have a pretty good idea of how I feel about Paul Pelletier's art. I love it. Take a look at how he illustrates Wolverines face for example. You can tell from the broadening of his brow, to the intensity of his eyes, that Paul really knows how to convey expression and pathos in all of the characters he draws. Heck; not only is his line-work crisp and clean, but his style is up there with the best of them to boot.

If you had to CAST TWO CHARACTERS in this comic book, who would they be and why?

WOLVERINE: Now you will have to read the section below for a fuller explanation as to why this casting call involves video game characters, OK? But before you do that, have you ever noticed that both Old Logan and Heihachi Mishima -- from 'Tekken' fame -- look quite a like...

ELSA: ...plus if you can manage to look past the ample cleavage and the broad shoulders, you can say the same thing about Tekken's Christie Monteiro and Ms Bloodstone too. 

If this issue had a MOVIE TAG LINE, what would it be?

Looking For Adventure? Why? Spend Sometime In The Library Instead. No One Will Blow Your Face Off With A Shot Gun! Promise.

If this issue were a MOVIE, an OBJECT, or a piece of MUSIC, what would that be and why? 

I'm sure you've heard of the video-game called 'Street Fighter', right? Not the movie. Not the cartoon. The game. Well, to me, this comic book adventure reminded me of this arcade classic, mainly because it was a number of fight scenes broken up by some fairly competent segways. Here, check out this clip for a viral version of this 'beat-em up'.

FINAL thoughts...

Dear People Who Do Things At Marvel

For some strange reason -- this week -- I felt compelled to write to you via the summation section of my reviews.  Now I don't really know why I am doing this. No. Honestly. All I can say is that sometimes it's quite therapeutic contacting you in this manner -- advertently giving what I say a somewhat emotional edge by default.

Oh! That's was the main reason for this piece by the way -- emotion -- please have some.

Well, I'm implying that you don't have any, because over the last month or so, you've been doing a 'New 52' and rebooting some of your series for no obvious apparent rationale at all. Is it because you want to play DC at its own game? Or is it because they've been catching up to you in the creative stakes?

Listen -- don't worry -- you don't have to do this. You're good at doing what you're doing. And DC Comics are good at doing whatever they're doing. Have a look at Wolverine, and tell me that this isn't a great title.

OK, admittedly, this month it took a bit of a dip where the overall story was concerned. Nonetheless, it's still a good book, and fan's will always appreciate a good book no matter what.  

Case closed; the reviewer.

MARKS out of 10? 8.5