THE ROLLING STONES AT THE BBC

Psst! Hey, you! Yeah! You. Do you want some 'Charlie'? It's good stuff, man. Grade A. Worth about a 'Wyman' on the street. But I'd give it to you for a 'Jagger', OK? HUH? What's that? No! I won't accept a 'Wood's' or a 'Richard's' in any given month! Moreover, don't even think about offering me a 45-minute review show produced by the BBC in 2012! You numpty.


The Rolling Stones

THE STORY:

Hurrah! The Rolling Stones have reached their 50th anniversary as a group. So in their infinite wisdom, the British Broadcasting Corporation have decided to commemorate this grand occasion, by producing a rather nifty program showcasing just a few of their performances on their channel.

Yeah! I'm not messing about. Please check out the following track-list for the songs on offer:

• Start Me Up (1981)
• Let's Spend the Night Together (1967)
• Get Off Of My Cloud (1965)
• The 19th Nervous Breakdown (1967)
• Gimme Shelter (1969)
• Miss You (1978)
• Angie (1973)
• It's Only Rock And Roll But I Like It (1974)
• Fool To Cry (1976)
• Brown Sugar (1971)
• Jumpin' Jack Flash (1968)
• Dancing With Mr D. (1973)
• Honky Tonk Woman (1969)
• The Last Time (1965)

Now scattered throughout this anniversary special, you can also see snippets of interviews either Mick or Keith have partaken in. These are the interviews in question.  

• The Look Of The Week (1967) -- 'Performing helps me vent my own anger', Mick Jagger
• Unnamed documentary about women suffering from depression (1965) -- 'Can I have "The 19th Nervous Breakdown" by the Rolling Stones please?', Unnamed woman
• Old Grey Whistle Test (1974) -- 'The rest of the band leave it up to me and Mick to compose the songs, or otherwise they'd get confused in the studio', Keith Richards
• Nationwide (1985) -- 'I think that I can prance about on stage in the way that I do for another five years. After that, I'll become Barry Manilow' , Mick Jagger
• Newsnight (1982) -- ' When they started, The Stones ambition was to play enough gig to keep them in guitar strings and play as much good Rhythm and Blues music to the British Audiences', Keith Richards

Nuff said.

THE REVIEW:

I've just come back from a school recital, where two of my Godchildren sung in a choir held at a local church. Now if I do say so myself; it wasn't a bad little shindig really. Sammy -- the oldest of my Godchildren -- pranced about as if she was on an 'X-Factor' audition. Whilst Fiona -- the second of my many Godchildren -- tried her best, even though she did come across as if she was a politician miming in a rave.

Still, who am I to talk, huh? I wasn't on good form myself. During the 'audience participation' part of the evening -- where the Mums, the Dad, and the 'Godfathers',  all had to join in with the festivities -- my mind went off on a tangent, and I sung a song that I shouldn't of. Here, let me explain to you what I did by paraphrasing a conversation I had with my Goddaughter, Fiona, after the event.

FIONA: Godfather? What was that song you were singing? It defiantly wasn't 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer'!

ME: No my little princess. It was a song called 'Jumpin' Jack Flash'.

FIONA: Oh! I thought I heard the word 'flash' when you sung. Was it by that band you showed me on YouTube? What were they called again? 'TheMonkees'?

ME: No. Not the 'The Monkees' my little frog-faced urchin. It was 'The Beatles'. And it wasn't a song sung by them. It was a song sung by 'The Rolling Stones'.

FIONA: The Rolling Stones? Are they new Godfather? It sounded new.

ME: Ha! 'The Stones' aren't new. They're fifty years old, princess.

FIONA: Oh! So why did you sing that 'Jack' song then? Mummy told me you cut down on your medication.

ME: Shhh! Don't mention the med's 'kermit'. And as for the reason why I sung that song -- well -- I got a bit confused for a moment -- and I remembered a show I watched commemorating their union just the other day.

FIONA: OK, Godfather. I see. A show. It must have been a good one then, huh? Or otherwise you would have forgotten about it.

ME: Yeah. It was OK my merry bundle of Kryptonite. Some songs where smashing. Other songs were not so smashing. Whilst one song in particular I couldn't get out of my poxy head.  

FIONA: The 'Jack' song, right?

ME: Yes my little damsel of destruction. The 'Jack' song. It's stuck in my noggin like shiiii... errr... sugar to tea.  

FIONA: Why is it stuck?

ME: I like it. That's why I suppose.

FIONA: Why do you like it?

ME: Errr. I just do. In the same way you like that singer who wears meat on her head and looks like a prostitute.

FIONA: You mean 'Lady Gaga', don't you?

ME: Yeah! Whatever her name is. I like 'The Stone' in the same way you like 'Dutchess Gogo'. Except they have talent, longevity, words in their songs you can understand, and a lot of stamina.

FIONA: Oh no! You're going to show me some footage on 'Youtube' now, aren't you? And explain to me why 'The Rocks' plays proper music; in the same way you told me about 'The Monkees'.

OK, I think it best if I leave it there, dear reader. I'm sure you don't want to read a very lengthy account as to why I think 'The Rolling Stones' are so fab. Well, you don't need to, huh? Their longevity proves that they are popular no matter what I say. Even if you take into account these 'Rolling Stones' related facts: (1) Although the bass-player, Darryl Jones, has worked with the group since 1994, he has never been an official band member. (2) Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were classmates at Wentworth Primary School together, and both attended the same Art College in Sidcup, Kent. (3) The guys initially called themselves 'Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys', but Brian Jones eventually changed their name to 'The Rolling' Stones', out of respect for the Muddy Waters song of the same name. (4) I kid you not, legendary movie maker, George Lucas, was a cameraman on 'The Stones' 1970 documentary, 'Gimme Shelter'. Plus the legendary director, Martin Scorsese, has used this said same song in four of his films as well. (5) A couple of years prior to joining 'the Kinks', Mick Avory played the drums on the first gig the Rolling Stones ever performed. (6) Keith Richards named one of his children 'Marlon', after the famous actor, Marlon Brando. (7) Not only did John Lennon and Paul McCartney write the first 1963 hit for the band, 'I Wanna Be Your Man', but they also supplied backing vocals on their 1967 song, 'We Love You'. (8) In 1963 -- before they became famous -- 'The Stones' developed a rock and roll 'Rice Crispies' commercial alongside the 'J. Walter Thompson' advertisement agency. Brian Jones wrote the upbeat jingle, parodying it on the popular game show 'Juke Box Jury'. Here, check out this clip for the ad in question...

Now before I shuffle off to pastures new. Let me just state for the record that 'The Rolling Stones at the BBC' wasn't a bad program to watch. It did its job; by playing a lot of very timely musical clips, filling up my noggin full of Jumpin' Jack Flash -- Its a gas, gas, gas!

Oh, no! Not again!

THE RATING: A