SOUTH PARK - BIGGER, LONGER, AND UNCUT

Picture the scene. You're dead. You've gone to hell. And you are welcomed into it by Adolf Hitler, George Burns, and Mahatma Gandhi. So what do you do about it, huh? Say 'Hi' perhaps? Or what about just sitting down, relaxing, before watching this crazy 81 minute cartoon made in 1999, devised by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Well, Gandhi and George might like it? Huh?


South Park, Bigger, Longer, and Uncut : The Film - The Book - The Music

THE STORY:

Once upon a time the residents of South Park where all... ahem... 'fairly normal people' on the surface. They all sang together. They all danced together. And they even all swore together too. So what I'd like to know is: What in God's name could have caused Kenny to kill himself by catching his ass own on fire? Cartman to have his potty-mouth 'clamped' electronically? Plus Sheila Broflovski, Kyle's Mum, to wage war with a neighbouring country?

No. It doesn't have anything to do with Stan trying to impress his girlfriend, Wendy, because she's got a new boyfriend. That would just be sick. Bllurgg! Instead, it's those f*cking Canadian b*stards fault. Terrance and Phillip. Mainly because this double-act has made a movie that's so rude and crude, it has perverted the small fragile minds of every young American that has ever watched it.

Yeah. I'm not chocking your chicken, Uncle F*cker. In fact, this situation is so f*cking messed up, Sheila manages to persuade the U.S. Army to capture these two Canadian w*nkers whilst they are on the 'Conan O'Brian' show, before executing them during a live performance hosted by Big Gay Al.   

Still, if you think about it for a moment, it could be worse a lot worse I suppose. Satan and his boyfriend, Saddam Hussein, could use this chain of events to their advantage, by escaping from hell and turning Earth into their new dominion.

Ops! Oh, sh*t! I spoke too soon.

But then again that's most probably why what next transpires all goes tit's up when Kenny passes a warning from beyond the grave. As the Army stumbles - the resistance fumbles - Cartman swears like a trouper - and at the end of the day Kenny's final words are just f*cking super.

Amen.

THE REVIEW:

Only the other day my nephew Kyri reminded me of a film I allowed him to watch when he was even younger then he is now. It's this one. 'South Park - Bigger, Louder, and Uncut'. It's a movie that his mother forbade me to show him, although I went 'F*ck that for a game of soldiers. He'll watch it sooner of later anyway. I just want the little sh*t to keep quiet, while his parents go out, and I'm looking after him'.

However, was I right to allow such an impressionable young man to watch a comedy that's so chock full of profanity and singing, that it could have made him become like one the characters in this cartoon? Well, in my opinion, yes. Hell, yes. It didn't do him any harm with my now benefit of hindsight. Furthermore, due to the 'morality message' sneaked in at the end of this flick, I'm sure it's made Kyri a wiser person in the process.

Alright. I know some of you out there might think I'm a 'bit of a loon' for saying something like this. But hey, life's not always full flowers and roses. The human race is differentiating by default. And every single one of us have different ways of conveying our own opinion's, in varying degrees of style.  

Oh! Wait up. That reminds me of something else about this film as well. It's different. It's very-very different. Just in the way it manages to amalgamate comedy, animation, music, and pathos, all together into one superb package that I just love watching time and again. Honestly. I sing along with the tunes. I laugh at its humour. And I am just enamoured by how it takes a very silly pretext and then moulds it into something that's as daring and dynamic, as a blind driver with no arms of head racing in a speedway competition.

Here, check out some of these filmic facts to see how daring this comedy really is. (1) 'Paramount' / 'Warner Bros' Pictures first released this $21 million dollar production on the 20th of June, 1999, and clawed back $81 million dollars at the box office. (2) Initially 'the studio' wanted the creators of this cartoon, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, to develop a PG-13 film. But -- of course -- they refused this request. And a good job too. Because not only was it the highest grossing feature length animation to date, but it's has also been awarded with so many awards, I can't be bothered to list them all here. (3) According to the 2001 Guinness Book of Records, this cartoon is said to have used the most profanity ever for a flick of this genre. This includes 399 swear words in total, including 146 'f*cks', 199 offensive gestures, and 221 acts of violence. (4) If you look very closely at the Canadian pie-chart, Canada's economy is based on the 'Terrance and Phillip' show, the tourist industry, a snow ball machine, the log industry, the 'Dion Fish' industry, the porn industry, and the filming of the 'X-Files'.  (5) This movie was originally going to be called 'South Park: All Hell Breaks Loose'. Yet according to legend, the MPAA forced Trey and Matt to change this title because it had the word 'hell' in it. (6) This film has never been banned in Iraq. In fact, it has never been distributed to Iraq either. (7) Despite not needing Brian Boitano's permission to use his name in the song 'What Would Brian Boitano Do?', Matt and Trey did need his permission to print his name on t-shirt's devised a for charitable venture. (8) Matt, Trey, and Mary Kay Bergman, voiced most of the characters in this project -- aided and abetted by their regular partners in crime, including Isaac 'Chef' Hayes -- yet it was George Clooney who voiced Dr. Gouache, Brent Spiner who voiced Conan O'Brien, Minnie Driver who voiced Brooke Shields, Dave Foley who voiced both of the Baldwin Brothers, and Eric Idle who voiced Dr. Vosknocker.

Overall, 'South Park - Bigger, Louder, and Uncut' is a movie that can't do any wrong in my eyes. Granted, it is crude and over the top in places. Plus it does have that very silly way of making a joke stick no matter what. Nonetheless, by in large this film was so funny and entertaining to follow, I still allowed my nephew Kyri to watch it when he was still a brat with an itch to scratch. Don't you agree, Brian Boitano?

THE RATING: A