EARTH 2 #17

[ SWING FOR AN EARTH 2 SALE ] 

Out of the following three people living on Earth 2, who do you think will cause more mischief than Tom Taylor and Nicola Scott combined? Would it be: (A) Batman. (B) Miley Cyrus. Or (C) A potato. Huh? What's that? You don't know? Alright then. Let's ask the Publisher: DC Comics, for the answer, in November, 2013. Maybe they'll tell us if they stop f*cking twerking.

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this STORY entitled 'The Dark Age'.

• WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: 'None of you bloody fools can stop me', says Superman to the World Army and the rest of the remaining Wonders. 'Be it magic, speed, or magic ring' he continues, 'I'll find a way to ravage every living thing on this godforsaken Earth'.
• ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: Well, let's just say that Supes has the upper hand for the time being.
• ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: Yeah. We discover that Lois Lane is the new Red Tornado.
• HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With a certain Bat-themed vigilantly ready to join the fight.  

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

Picture the scene. Batman has finally penetrated the World Army's inner most sanctum, and now, with incubated lunatics surrounding him, and an officer points a gun to his face, he calmly says...

'Criminals and madmen maybe Earths only hope'.

Yoinks! What a way to end an issue, huh? That was very dramatic indeed!!!!

What are the BEST bits about this issue?

(+) My God -- Tom Taylor -- you really know how to pen a tale, don't you, pal? Straight off the bat you've managed to make this series a much earthier and bolder book to follow, because you've lavished the conceptual plot-line with a no-holds bard narrative that doesn't pull any of its punches. Ka-Boom!

(+) Now wasn't that fight scene between Superman and Doctor Fate a sight for sore eyes, folks? I mean, talk about actions speaking louder than words! I tell you something, that section was one hell of an eye opener, especially that part where the Flash lends the Doc a helping hand afterwards.

(+) I can't wait to see more of the bad-ass Superman and Batman depicted in this adventure. Well? Whatever next? Wonder Woman during her time of the month? Yikes!

(+) OK. So let me get this straight. Lois Lane is now the new Red Tornado, thanks to her military father's actions. Hmmm. Not a bad development I suppose. Yet, whilst saying that, a part of me thinks that this is too new for news' sake, whilst another part of me can't help but wonder where this is all headed.

What are the WORST bits about this issue?

(-) I've never been too keen on a comic book that was too quick a read. And as much as I really did love reading this issue, at the same time -- ouch -- it was too quick for my own liking. Not having a more balanced tone between its action and its plot.

Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to FRUIT.

A TOMATO AS THE RED TORNADO: Yes. I know that we all think of them as vegetables, folks, but according to some idiot in a white coat, a tomato is a fruit. A red fruit that is as confusing as the paring-up of Lois Lane and the Red Tornado.

A BANANA AS DOCTOR FATE: Well. Let's face it. You'd have to be a bit banana's to take a swing at Superman. Correct?

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?

'An immovable object and an unstoppable force don't exist in a universe ruled by a single ruler' -- Toba Beta

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?

'DON'T STOP ME NOW' BY QUEEN: OK. I know that's its slightly ironic that I'm comparing this song to this story, especially when you factor in their unstoppable and veracious factors. But still. Both of them are well worth it.

ANYTHING Else?

Greeting's people of Earth. My name is Superman. The Evil Superman. And I would like to impart onto you how things will be played out from here on in.

• Firstly, Tuesday will be called Wednesday, Wednesday will be called Friday, and every other day will end with the letter's 'E' and 'L' for no apparent reason whatsoever, except for the second Friday of course.
• Secondly, 'Monty Python' will be deemed Gods in the eyes of men, and potatoes to the armpits of small children and women.  
• Thirdly, Christmas will be banned in Finland.
• Fourthly, from this day forth I will be christened 'Shirley', baptized 'Fred', and circumcised with the Hadron Collider.  
• Fifthly, DC Comics will move to the west coast of America, despite the weather being a lot more humid in the summer.
• And last, but not least, I want Miley Cyrus, Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, and Katy Perry... flambéed.

Anyway. That's enough of that methinks. All I have left to say is that this issue of 'Earth 2' reminded me of riding on a slip and slide. It was fast, dynamic, easy to follow, yet a mite too quick for my own liking  

Nuff said.