JUSTICE LEAGUE #24

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With the Justice League dead, who do you think would be 'top dog' now? President Obama perhaps? Google? Miley Cyrus? Or better yet, what about Geoff Johns, Ivan Reis, plus the Publisher: DC Comics? Well, I'd rather have them rule the world in October, 2013, instead of a gaggle of twerking buffoons!!!

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this STORY entitled 'Forever Strong'.

• WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: 'I couldn't care less about saving the people of Kahndaq', says Ultraman to one of his colleagues in the Crime Syndicate, named Grid. 'I'm the bastard son of Jor-Il, God damn it. I'm the last known survivor of a dying race that was brought up by a couple of drug-addicts. And now -- NOW -- I have to find out for myself why the people living on this Earth are so f*cking weak'. 
• ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: Err... no... I'm not saying anything. Or else Kal might kick the living crap out of me.
• ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: Yes. The people working in the Daily Planet get a bit of a scare. Eeeeek!
• HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With Black Adam jumping to the fore.

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

Out of the following four quotes, what would you say was the most sardonic in prose?

(A) 'Shut up and die Lara' -- Jor Il towards his wife.

(B) 'Your current state still sickens me' -- Jor Il towards his infant son.

(C) 'You will be my parents now' -- A young Kal Il towards the Kent's.

(D) 'Human women are not suitable to you' -- Jor Il towards his son again.

Me. I loved reading all of them really. OK. I know taken out of context they don't seem to have the same sort of impact. Agreed. Yet having said that, I did find this warped version of 'the House of Il' very-very sardonically funny. Mainly because of their inverse and cruel nature.

What are the BEST bits about this issue?

(+) My God, wasn't Ivan Reis' artwork f*cking amazing in this issue! His characters were very expressive. His action scenes were all dynamic and well-paced. And all in all... hey... you know what I'm going to say. Good job, pal. Keep on trucking!

(+) The first third of this book was just a delight to follow. As I've mentioned previously, I really got a very devilish kick out of reading Ultraman's origins. Plus on top of that -- Ka-Boom -- those scenes set in the Daily Planet almost gave me a poxy heart-attack. Honestly. They were jaw-drop-tastic!

(+) Wait a minute! Did I hear that correctly, folks? The 'Doom Patrol' are back in town! Yahoooo (tm)! Why didn't someone tell me this? I would have baked them a cake. Preferably a chocolate covered one with some glue in it. So they can stick around for longer than the norm, Ha!

(+) At the moment I'm sitting on the fence with this whole Black Adam verses Ultraman confrontation. It could be a good fight. It could be a bad fight. But most of all, I hope that it could be an outstanding fight next issue.

What are the WORST bits about this issue?

(-) Now at a touch, the only thing that really springs to mind that I wasn't too thrilled about; was the way in which the overall narrative was structured. It started off with some back-story. It then continued with Ultramans present day actions. And it finally finished off with a confrontation with Black Adam. Admittedly, this is not a terrible structure. Yet at the same time each part of the tale wasn't given equal portions. If you get my gist.

Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to WELL KNOWN WOMEN.

BOUDICA AS JOR IL: Once upon a time this Celtic Queen actually led a historical uprising against the occupying Roman forces. Granted, she didn't win this debacle. But I tell you something, she gave them a good run for their money!

MARIAH CAREY AS KAL IL: I'd say a more modern equivalent of Boudica would have to be our Mariah. Well, I've heard she does have a bit of a temper on her. Plus neither of them will do stairs.

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?

'Kiss me you b*stard. I hate you' -- Lauren Bacall in a film I can't remember the name of.

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?

'I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW' BY KELIS: What? Is this comparison too obvious for you, folks? Come on. It was either this soulful song or 'No Limits' by 2 Unlimited. And I wouldn't want you to get a headache now, would I?

ANYTHING Else?

Hello people of Earth. My name is Jor Il, and I would like to tell you miserable f*cking weaklings how you should sort out your miserable f*cking lives.

• Step One: Swear a lot. It help's set the mood.
• Step Two: Try to kill at least one of your relatives, preferably a sick one, because this will give you some street-cred.
• Step Three: Never say you're sorry about anything. Remorse is a sin.
• Step Four: Always wear something tight-fitting and dark, plus never fiddle with your hairstyle. A villain's hair has to be tidy, or else no one will take you seriously. Right, Miley?
• Step Four: Give yourself a very confusing name that people will find hard to pronounce. That way they with stammer more often when stuttering your title.
• Step Five: Avoid masturbation, because stress and repression is key to being a bad-ass mother-f*cker.

Anyway. That's enough of that for the moment, you ugly looking worms. All I have left to say is that this issue of the 'Justice League' reminded me of my wife, Lara. It had a nice front. The middle bits are always worth pocking. But her butt sure needs some extra padding.

Now go away.