THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN - THE DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU

Would you believe me if I said that Bruce Lee, Clint Eastwood, Dracula, James Bond, and Popeye, all starred in exactly the same film together? Yeah. Honestly. They all gathered around the campfire and did their thing for this 90 minute movie developed in 1977. It was Directed by Kei Law; and also starred some chap called Siu-Lung Leung.


The Dragon Lives Again


THE STORY:

Damn that Bruce Lee (Siu-Lung Leung)! Damn him I say. Ever since the Dark Lord had brought him back from the dead, all this lothario seems to do is cause trouble for me and my minions.

First he gets into a scrap with The Man with No Name, James Bond, plus a pack of zombies at a nearby cafe. Then he teaches Popeye and the One Armed Swordsman to defend themselves. Plus to top it all off, I hear through the grapevine that the Mistress and her consort are planning to shag his brains out.

Yeah. I'm not tangling your noodles, pal. Everything I say is as true as my name is the Exorcist. Me. The Exorcist. The underworld crime boss who is doing everything in his power to take over this underground kingdom, for the sake of... errr... hmm... something or another!

I mean, why couldn't Bruce be more like my mate, the Godfather? He's a nice chap he is. Very snazzy dresser. And always does whatever I ask him to. Be it kick, punch, or sport a dashing cravat, old God-face is as good as a very economical prostitute who has concessions for coach parties.

But then again, that's most probably why what next transpires all kicks off when Emmanuel tries to get her leg over. As loose women attempt to f*ck - celebrities shoot like a duck - Dracula ultimately sucks - and at the end of the day, this adventure makes me want to scream out... SHUCKS!

Or words to that effect.

THE REVIEW:

My God! With hand on my heart I have never seen a Bruceploitation film as f*cked-up as 'The Dragon Lives Again'. Honestly. It's as though the filmmakers were a bunch of sexual deviants trying to live out their childhood fantasies, by garnishing the screen with whatever took their fancy during this period of time.

I mean, who in there right-mind would devise a story where Bruce Lee has cheated on his own life, and then brings him back from the dead only to fight a whole host of media slanted darlings? And then make it funny in the process!!!!

Yeah. That's right, folks. Bruce is depicted as being a pimp in this film. I tried my best to leave it out of my synopsis because this nuance did leave a bitter taste in my mouth once it was eventually revealed. And in a round about way this facet just highlighted to me how some of these 'Lack of Lee' movies were only developed to cash in on his good name.

Anyway. I best stop myself there. It's just that I felt I had to get that off of my chest so I can now explain to you some of the other things that got on my bloody nerves about this picture.

Kind of.

For a start, I would like to mention that I understood this adventure wasn't meant to be taken seriously, and that its conceptual premise was about our pal Bruce trying to fight his way back to reality again. However, having said that, why was this story so sexually driven, it felt the need to present a cartoon-like exterior in a fantasy focused landscape? Also, why were all those fight scenes shot in a real-life quarry, considering the rest of the movie was obviously shot in an internal film set? And in addition to this, why did the tale in itself meander all over the place structurally, whilst throwing a couple of nth rate fight scenes in for good measure?

Granted. Not all of the fight scenes were pants. Some of them were pretty decently choreographed I thought. And showed the promise that the other fight scenes could have been a lot less wavy-armed and a lot more punchier in execution. Also, whilst I'm in the mood to praise this film a tad more, I best say that I did dig those silly captions displayed during these sections. Spoofing Bruce's movies in a very innovative manner, despite always constantly flipping to a 'quarry set' whenever fisty-cuffs occurred.

Apart from that, though -- well -- I think you know what I feel about 'The Dragon Lives Again'. It had too many tits in it. Not enough punch. Plus I think that this is a pretty good time for some filmic-facts. Don't you? (1) 'Goldig Film Company' first released this production on the very same day an earthquake in Turkey killed one person, and injured several -- the 25th of March, 1977. (2) Loosely translated, this project was entitled 'The Dragon Re-Attack' in Portugal; 'The Resurrection of the Dragon' in France; and 'The Dragon Attacks' in Spain. (3) This film was featured in an episode of the 'Hagan Review'. No. The guy in the glasses didn't like it either. (4) Marvel Comic's / Curtis published a comic book series during the seventies which shared the same name as this Kung Fu comedy, 'The Deadly Hands of Kung Fu'. It was about how certain martial arts characters -- such as Iron Fist, Shang Chi, and Misty Knight -- used their talents in the field of combat, complemented by a regular Kung Fu film review. (5) Now some of the characters you can expect to see in this flick, includes: Dracula, James Bond, Zatoichi, Clint Eastwood, The Godfather, Laurel and Hardy, The Exorcist, Emmanuelle, The One-Armed Swordsman, Caine from the 'Kung Fu' TV series, and of course, Popeye. (6) The nice chap that played Bruce Lee in this flick, Siu-Lung Leung, has publicly stated he never liked being called 'Bruce Leong', despite starring in such Bruceploitation films as 'Bruce: Hong Kong Master', 'Bruce Against Iron Hand', and 'The Clones of Bruce Lee'. (7) Yeah. You're right. That chubby faced actor who played Poppy in this movie, is none other than 'My Lucky Stars' / 'Infernal Affairs' comedic ace, Eric Tsang. (8) Kei Law, who directed this movie, is still a director to this very day -- 2014 -- and throughout his fifty-four years in the business, he has directed such movies as 'Dragon, the Lizard, the Boxer', 'Amsterdam Connection', and 'Crippled Masters'. (9) In contrast to Kei's very lengthy career, two of the writers assigned to this project, Shek Ke and Wei Liang, have never been hired to write anything since penning this piece.

Overall I'd say that 'The Dragon Lives Again' is a very silly sexually driven movie that tried to be funny but came across disrespectful. Shame. A real shame. Because I'm sure that in the proper hands this film could have been a lot better than it was. Still. You never know. Maybe one day soon someone will come across this flick and make it into something... errr... magical?

Nuff said.

THE RATING: C-