WHAT NOT TO SAY AFTER A FUNERAL

Picture the scene. You've just attended a funeral of a loved one who's recently passed away, and now, during the wake, you say something f*cking stupid. Yeah. It can happen at times. I once knew of a chap who was so bloody idiotic during these sorts of occasions, he said... 

• You got to laugh, don’t ya? 
• Shame about the car! Huh?
• And her breasts were still pert, right up to the very end! 
• Are you interested in changing energy suppliers? 
• Is the coffin sound proof? 
• Did he ever tell you about the money I lent him? 
• All I’m saying is that I preferred it if the vicar was a transsexual! 
• Do you know it takes seven years before the body turns to mush... so theirs still time to dig him up! 
• I never realized that you could die with a smile on your face. It must have been the hookers! 
• You didn't rent his clothing, did you? 

• Hey! Why didn't the vicar mention the womanizing, the drug taking, or the paedophile charges during his sermon? 
• Are you interested in getting a low phone tariff? 
• Theirs just something about funerals which turns me on! 
• Have you met the person who killed your husband? No! Well, I’ll just go and get him, because he’s eating all of the bloody h'orderves. 
• It just goes to show, that no matter how many drugs you take, you’ll always be buried low. 
• I think that I may have dropped my wallet in the coffin, so is their any chance...? 
• Just think of all the money that you can save now on shopping! 
• Are you interested in life insurance? 

Huh? What's that? You want to hear more, folks? Alright then. Try this on for size. But nothing else afterwards. Tut-Tut-Tut!