WEEKEND OF TERROR (1970)

Please be warned, film fans. The following 74 minute movie made in 1970 may contain nuts. So I suggest that you sit down and watch it, not digest it, unless you want to get a face full of fat free glutton hurled at you by it's Director: Jud Taylor; or one of his Actors: Robert Conrad, Carol Lynley, Lee Majors, with Lois Nettleton.

THE STORY:

Jesus Christ, Eddie (Robert Conrad)! What in hell is wrong with you, man? First you accidentally kill our hostage before we can cash her in. And then when I ask you to go and get a replacement hostage for us to swap around, you eventually bring us back three nuns! Three f*cking nuns!!

I mean, are you retarded or something? Or just plain stupid?

Oh! Hold up! I just thought of something that might get us out of this mess. Why don't you take two of the sisters and lock them up down in the cellar? And while you're getting on with that, I will take the other sister -- the pretty one named Ellen (Lois Nettleton) -- and try to make her look like our original hostage.

Yeah. That should work. Shouldn't it? Yet again, that's most probably why what next transpires all goes from bad to worse when Ellen says to me, 'Larry (Lee Majors), I won't allow you to kill my two sisters'. As nuns go on the run - three hostages get a kick up the bum - a ransom drop takes place in the sun - and at the end of the day, look out police, he hasn't got a gun!

THE REVIEW:

On a purely cosmetic level 'Weekend of Terror' looks just like any other seventies made for television production. Most of the sets appeared rather nth rate at best. Whilst most of the actors came across as if they were going to star in a porno movie, especially Lee Majors. But if like me you're able to look past some of these aesthetic flaws, you'll find that at the very heart of it is a pretty decent film.

Now one of the main reasons I say this, dear reader, is because this simple story won me over due to way the characters in it were all archetypical by nature. For instance, Lee's character was obviously the misguided outlaw who tried to make the best out of a bad situation. Robert's character was the idiot who caused most this strife to begin with. Plus finally Lois's character was the focal point for said events, where as her two sister's in arm's, as played by Carol Lynley and Ann Doran, where two different sides of the same coin. 

Furthermore, something else about this movie I quite enjoyed watching was how its narrative unraveled in a very simplistic manner. During its title sequence it set-up the basic pretext -- i.e. Oh, shit! The bad guys have killed their hostage. It then progressed with the next stage of the plot -- i.e. Oh, shit! The bad guys have accidentally kidnapped three nuns by mistake. Before finally the whole God damn thing then flowed on from there on in -- i.e. Hell yes! The bad guys try to do the best they can, despite being psychoanalyzed by the nuns in the process.

Having said all that, though, in contrast to my praise there were two things about this movie I wasn't too keen on. Firstly, I was a bit confused as to why the kidnappers decided to use Carol's character as the principle hostage, when up to that point this position was reserved for the character Lois played. And secondly, I personally felt that the makers of this film missed a trick while they were developing it, mainly because most of the first half could have easily been satirized due to the accidental nature of its initial set-up.  

But hey! What do I know? I'm just the guy with the following filmic facts. (1) The 'ABC Television Network' first screened this production on the exact same day the noted English chemist, Christopher K Ingold, tragically passed away. It was on the 8th of December, 1970. (2) Lee Majors real name isn't Lee Majors. His name is actually Harvey Lee Yeary, and he was born in Wyandotte, Michigan, on the 23rd of April, 1939. (3) The majority of this movie was shot on location throughout the American state of California, most notably, Apple Valley. (4) During the seventies and eighties Carol Lynley had a somewhat tempestuous affair with the British journalist, David Frost. (5) The director of this TV movie, Jud Taylor, has also directed other such televised productions as 'The Disappearance of Flight 412', 'The Old Man and the Sea', and 'Out of the Darkness'. (6) Lionel E. Siegel, who was the writer assigned to pen this flick, has written for such ongoing television series as 'Kung Fu', 'The Six Million Dollar Man', 'The Bionic Woman', and 'The Amazing Spider Man'. (7) Not only did 'The Howard Anderson Company' provide some of the photographic effects for this picture, but they've also worked on such movies as 'Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines', 'Final Destination 2', and 'Jurassic Park III'. (8) After this project twisted its own ankle, Robert Conrad starred in the TV movie, 'D.A.: Conspiracy to Kill'; Carol Lynley starred in the TV series, 'Mannix'; and Lee Majors starred in a few episodes of 'The Virginian'.

 

Overall I'd say 'Weekend of Terror' was a pretty nifty adventure to sit down and watch. The story-line was an associative one by nature, whilst most of the actors looked like they've starred in adult films. And all in all -- yeah --- good job. I just hope someone out there has the nerve to remake it any time soon.

Wink-Wink! Nuff said.

THE RATING: B