STAR WARS SERVEWARE - DISHES TO DELIGHT THE DARK SIDE

A long time ago, in a galaxy far-far away, there lived an ultimate Star Wars fan. For years the fan dreamed of owning a comprehensive set of Star Wars serveware, complete with the Darth Vader punch bowl and C-3PO salad tongs, but the dinnerware and accessories eluded him. The three moons of Tatooine waxed and waned many times, and the ultimate fan grew disheartened as every dinner party he hosted painfully lacked a set of Jawa napkin rings. Then one day, without warning, as if prompted by the Force itself, the Star Wars serveware became available to all the fans of the universe, and there was much rejoicing.





Now that you have the awesome Star Wars themed serveware you've always wanted, the pressure is on to use it wisely. You certainly can't just dump plain salsa into the Millennium Falcon serving bowl! What, were you raised by Wookies, you brute? For ultimate Star Wars lovers, here is a sampling of acceptable food and drink worthy of being served with your new Star Wars serveware.

Death Star watermelon: All you need is a rounded watermelon and a carving knife, and you're in business. Carefully carve out the grid-like pattern of the Death Star I, and be sure to include the sentinel base's equator and cut out a deep hole in the melon for the superlaser. It will be a shame to slice into such a work of art, but remember it's evil and must be destroyed. Plus, your R2-D2 serving plates are waiting.

Carbonite nitrogenated ale: For your treasured Han Solo pint glasses, only a nitrogenated beer like an English IPA makes sense. Ensure the glass is frosty before you pop and pour, then let the creamy pale ale do all the talking for our heroic pilot frozen in time.

Rootleaf Stew: Since you're probably fresh out of the "Sohli bark" and "Yarum seeds" that Yoda uses to concoct dinner for an ungrateful Luke, you can substitute beef and barley for this dish. As long as it's served in your Slave Leia soup bowls, no one is going to notice the difference.

Severed Wampa arm cake: Bake a white cake in a thin, oblong pan. Smother it in vanilla frosting and shaved coconut, add some strawberry jam to one end for the blood and slide a few Twix bars into the other end for the claws. That is all it takes to recreate Luke's mano a mano skirmish with the Wampa on Hoth. Use only your light saber cake knife for cutting and serving this gloriously gory dessert.

Bantha milk: Derived from Aunt Beru's blue milk, Bantha milk is one part banana, one part whole milk, and one part blueberry yogurt. Building strong bones in budding Jedi boys on Tatooine for eons, Bantha milk is best served in your set of Star Wars coffee mugs. (Not the Yoda ones, the plain black ones with just the Star Wars logo on them.)

Once your Star Wars serveware collection is complete, do not toss out random recipes haphazardly like a nerf herder - show some respect, man! Use the sacred serveware for only the most prestigious of gatherings, and use scrutiny when developing your Star Wars dinner menu. Patience you must have, young padawan. When the food is prepared, the drinks are poured, and your brothers and sisters of the Rebellion have come to share in your victory, and you are armed with dishes deserving of a Jedi knight, it is then that the Force is with you.