JUSTICE LEAGUE #49

[ FIGHT, IT'S A BARGAIN ] 

One day, Geoff Johns went up to Jason Fabok and asked him why bicycles keep on falling over. In turn, Jason looked straight into Geoff's eyes and brashly replied, 'It's simple if you think about it. It's because bicycles are two-tired'. And the rest, as they say, is being published by DC Comics in March, 2016.

TO QUOTE the character Mia Farrow plays in Rosemary's Baby: 'Look at his eyes! What have you done to my baby's eyes?'

THE REVIEW:

With all due respect I'd say this issue of the Justice League was a very strange issue indeed. Basically it's about the Crime Syndicate teaming-up with the League so they can prevent Mobius -- previously called the Anti-Monitor -- from stealing Superwoman's unborn baby. Why he wants her baby hasn't yet been fully explained, although I do suspect it to be associated with the return of Darkseid (or avoiding to pay child support).

Now my main problem with this book doesn't have anything to do with its initial premise. That's fine: The bad guy vs. the Good guy is the usual comic book fair. What I wasn't too keen on was the fact that a large chunk of it was dedicated to a fight between Mobius and Lex Luthor -- who's now supposedly the heir to Darkseid's throne, supercharged with Apokoliptian power -- and he does this while the rest of the gang kinda, well, sit around and talk about stuff, minus Superman and Shazam.

I mean, does that sound exciting to you?  It doesn't to me! Now to a certain degree I can understand that some exposition needs to be relayed and certain set-ups need to be put in place (like safeguarding Superwoman). But come off it, Superman moaning about being too super? The Flash being aloof and Goth-like in pose? And as for Batman, sitting in his comfy chair, and spouting fractured sentences like, 'The Baby'? Ha! Don't make me laugh. Even though he's a God now -- well, for the sole purpose of this particular story-line -- Batman is Batman, and I'm sure he'd get up off of his ass and tell people what's what, without being such a Mystic Meg.

Also, don't get me started on how this issue ends! What with a character popping up out of the blue and... and... no... I best leave it there as I don't want to spoil the obviously tagged-on ending.

Moving onto a more positive note and I must say that I loved Jason's epic artwork as well as the way he emoted emotion onto certain characters faces. In that scene where Scott told Barda that he loves her you can really tell he really-really loves her.

I also have to applaud those scenes with Wonder Woman in them, and how she's carrying herself throughout this whole 'Darkseid War' saga. To me, Diana is the only character that is being portrayed with some respect and decorum and I hope this trend continues in the future. On a similar standing I'm intrigued by the portrayal of Cyborg and Power Ring too, with both characters stoic, logical, and portrayed with feeling and understanding. As for everything else though?  Hmmm? Let's see what we have in store next month.

THE MUSIC:

Did you know that the nursery rhyme 'Rock-a-bye Baby' was supposed to be a haunting ballad of imminent doom? You know, just like that baby who's been squirted out of this very book.

THE COMPARISON:

I'm now going to compare this installment of the Justice League to brown sugar. No. I'm not talking about the song sung by the Rolling Stones. I'm of course referring to the saccharine-like substance some people put into their coffee, their tea, or their cakes of choice.

'And why would I want to do such a thing?' I hear you cry. 'Simple', say's I. It's because like this issue, brown sugar adds a bit of a kick to your chosen fancy, but not enough of a kick that you can actually taste it. Know what I mean?  Hint-hint!

THE CONCLUSION:

At the very end of this issue Superwoman has her baby. Lovely, right? Even though the little sh*t will most probably turn out to be a right f**king b*st*rd! So, in celebration of his birth (What?), why don't we now pick a name for this bundle of fun out of the following eight options? Could we choose...

1. Damien: No. Not as in Wayne. As in that evil brat from that devil spawned horror classic.
2. Gerald: What? It's a nice name.
3. Ziggy: Ohhh! No star-dust for you.  
4. Greyseid: Named after that film with the man who likes to shag women, plus his father's complexion.
5. Mini-Skywalker: Luke! Use The Force, Luke!
6. Affleck: Noooooooo!
7. Cavill: Yessss!
8. Barry Manilow Junior: It's his I tell you! Look at the nose.

Nuff said.