YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE FRANKENSTEIN

With Halloween fast approaching I think that now would be a pretty good time to get out of the house. Or to be more specific about it, I think that now would be a pretty good time for Frankenstein to get out of the house. You know, so he can meet new people and live life a little. Well, let's face it, it must be hard for him to meet someone new, someone special, what with the way he looks. But then again, he could always jump onto the internet dating bandwagon and give that a go.

Thankfully, both me and my lovely mates over at Lovestruck.com thought that this was a jolly good idea. So much so, in fact, that what we did was to come up with the following online dating profile so Old Frankie boy can finally find that woman of his lucid dreams. Or should that be, women of his dreams?

Full Name: Frankenstein The Modern Prometheus. 

Occupation: Terrorizing small villages.
City: Transylvania.

What are you looking for? Someone who isn't afraid of crying. 

Longest Relationship: Depends on what part of me you are talking to.

Height: Seven Foot Three Inches. 

Weight: Heavy. 

Build: Athletic.

Personality: Moody. 

Hair Color: Black. 

Eye Color: Brown and Green. 

Distinguishable Features: Square jaw. Zipped neck. Intense stare. Pale green skin. Ripped clothing. Smells of fish. Small genitals.

Do you drink? Yes. Blood.

What is your favorite meal? Anything that tastes like chicken or children.
Do you want children? Yes. But only to throw into the river.
Do you have children? No. I threw them all into the river.
Marital status: Separated, from the rest of my natural body.
Do you have a car? I have a horse and carriage, does that count?
Do you do drugs? Yes please.
How ambitious are you? I came back from the dead, so what do you think?

Favorite TV Show: Orange Is The New Black.

Favorite Rock Chick: Pink.

Favorite Singer: James Brown.

Favorite Actor: Betty White.

Favorite Genre Of Music: The Blues. 

Favorite Color: A Train.

Favorite Film: Who Will Love My Children?
Favorite Arm: Left.

Favorite Song: 'Back to Life' by Soul 2 Soul.

Hobbies:

Killing. Smashing things up. Growling at passers-by. Waving my arms about. Stamp Collecting. 

About Me: 

Hello. My name is Stein, Frank N Stein, although people generally refer to me as, 'Aaaaaggghhhhhhh! RUN AWAY'.

Now throughout my fairly unconventional life, I've tried my best to be a very understanding individual. Since the day I was born... errr... I mean, created, all I ever wanted was to be loved and to love in turn. But alas, no, this wasn't to be. As soon as the last screw was drilled into my neck, and my master un-strapped me from my confined harness, love, life, and the pursuit of happiness has always been something I could never obtain.

I'm not sure why though. I'm tall, and women normally like tall men. Plus I'm also broad and built like a brick sh*t house, which I'm told women also like. Maybe what puts people off is the way I growl and attempt to kill people for no apparent reason? Although, that said, Donald Trump is married, so maybe that isn't so true.

Anyway, it would be nice to hear from anyone out there. But please, if you do get in contact, no dick picks, I'm not into that. 

First Date:

Our outing has to involve throwing a child into a river and an Indian meal.

So what do you think of that? Does that sound like Franks dating profile or does it sound like a skanks dating profile? Let us know at @lovestuck with a lot of your Halloween love. Oh, and while I'm on the topic of Halloween, some of you might like to check out the following infographic sent to us by Morph Suits. Basically, it gives us the low-down on some Halloween related stats. Thanks guys. Happy Halloween.