A DATE WITH SHERLOCK

Life's a gamble. Life has always been a gamble. One day we could be looking up at the stars, and the next, we could be gazing down at the gutter, just hoping to make ends meet. So what do we do to try to rectify this situation? What are the odds of winning, losing, or dare I say it, breaking even? Do we just cast our aspersions to one side and take a bet at promotionalbonuscode.com? Or stranger still, do we take a bet at life? And if we do, what do we win, how can we win it, and will it bring us any happiness? After all, happiness is the spice of life. So come on, throw down the deck, pick up your cards, and lets see if Sherlock Holmes is able to win some happiness online.





When Sir Arthur Conan Doyle first created the now popular Victorian super-sleuth, Sherlock Holmes, little did he know that at the time he managed to create one of the most misogynistic characters in literary history! Since then, however, Sherlock's original persona has been warped by the films, the TV shows, and even the comic books. In fact, this has happened to such an extent, at the moment Sherlock is even contemplating taking up on-line dating.

Yeah. I'm not pulling your leg, old bean! My mates over at Lovestruck.com secretly sent me his online dating profile. Here, check it out and see how the world's greatest detective is selling himself to the fairer sex.

Full Name: Sherlock I-Prefer-Renting-My Holmes, Esquire.
Occupation: Nosey b*stard.
City: London.

What are you looking for? Professor Moriarty's next crime.
Longest Relationship: Does my relationship with Watson count?
Height: Shorter than a door, yet longer than a nail.
Weight: Average.
Build: Slender.
Personality: Addictive, although I have been known to be fairly sarcastic.
Hair Color: Depends on what actor is playing me.
Eye Color: See previous answer for more information.

Distinguishable Features: I wear a deerstalker hat, a long over-coat, and occasionally I smoke a mahogany pipe. Sometimes I hang around with a doctor who carries a hand-gun, while the two of us go in search for crime.

Do you drink? Yes. Tea with cocaine.
What is your favorite meal? Steak and Kidney pie laced with cocaine.
Do you want children? Only if they can run around the streets and help me fight crime, and I don't mean like Batman and his brat.
Do you have children? The Baker Street Irregulars are children, yet none of them have been sired by my loins, Thank God.
Religion: Klingon.
Marital status: Consistently single.
Do you do drugs? Yes. No. Yes. No. See previous answers for more information.

How ambitious are you? Well, I like to think of myself as ambitious, but not as ambitious as my older brother Mycroft. That toffy nosed sod gives people with ambition a bad name. Me, on the other hand, I am marginally ambitious up to a point, and that is coming from a man who lives in an old woman's house and smokes a pipe most of the day.

Favorite Singer: Kylie Minogue.
Favorite Actor: Anyone political.
Favorite Genre Of Music: Punk... Steam Punk.
Favorite Color: Scarlet.
Favorite Film: 16mm.
Favorite Song: I Shot The Sheriff.

Hobbies:
Stopping crime. Preventing crime. Looking for crime. Playing the violin. Dressing up and impersonating people. Belittling Watson. Giving Mrs Hudson orders. Using the word 'Elementary' in a sentence. Taking drugs.

First Date:
I'm not a big fan of dates. I prefer prunes.

About Me:
For me to describe myself would be like a puddle of water describing the open blue sea. Yet to many, I'm an overtly astute individual who's willing to test his own powers of deduction. Whereas to the few, I'm a recluse, an oddity, a stranger, a nomad, a mad-man, or a wild trapped beast yearning for some dangerous and complicated excitement!

I can not truly say who I am, and nor can anyone else either. But please believe me when I say that, yes, my name is Sherlock, and yes, I am a detective. With hand on my heart I'm so bloody wonderful, if I was a woman I'm sure I would marry myself. In fact, I think I have?

On one occasion I recollect going to the opera with Watson, and afterwards being confronted by the main star of the show, some Russian ballet dancer called Madame Petrova, who propositioned me with her hand in marriage. Obviously, with me being a red blooded Brit, I quickly made up an excuse and kindly turned down her most generous proposal. Problem was, my excuse insinuated that I preferred the company of men, men like Watson for instance, and this prompted me to... well... marry myself, but only after a lot of unnecessary hullabaloo. Here, check this out and see for yourself.

So what do you think of that? Do you think Sherlock's dating profile will find him a date? Let them know at @lovestuck, or alternately, in the comment system provided.