DRACULA SINKS HIS TEETH INTO ONLINE DATING

Welcome, children of the night. Welcome to my online dating profile that's full of fun, facts, and a few frivolous comments about yours truly, Count Dracula. Well, it's been so long since I actually dated a lady, too long some might say, that it's probably about time I impregnate the online dating world with some information about who I am and what I stand for. Here 👇, please feast your eyes on this 👀.

Personal information:
Full name: My name is Dracula, but I've also been called Count Orlok, Vlad the Impaler, Nosferatu, and from time to time, that scary man with the pointed teeth / Age: I have no age and no pension / Occupation: Count / Location: Transylvania / Relationship requirements: A pulse and plenty of blood / Longest relationship: No comment / Marital status: Despite having three brides, I'm single and ready to mingle

Distinguishing features:
Height: Over 6ft / Weight: About 190lb / Build: Slender / Hair color: Black / Eye color: Either red or not red

Other attributes:
How ambitious are you? Ambition is a sin, and there's nothing wrong with sinning / Do you drink? Yes, I drink blood and sometimes Ovaltine / Do you want children? No, because they taste very sweet / Do you consume drugs? My only drug is life itself / Do you drive a car? No, but I do have wings

Favorite:
TV show: 'True Blood' / Song: 'Let It Bleed' by the Rolling Stones / Actor: Boris Karloff / Singer: Yoko Ono / Comedian: Dr. Anthony Fauci / Film: 'Dracula: Dead and Loving It' / Color: Red / Meal: Black pudding / Quote: 'Give blood' - The National Health Service

Hobbies:
Shopping for capes. Flying around at night. Drinking blood. Seducing women. Entertaining guests. Silly accents. Not looking at myself in the mirror. Polishing my coffin. Knitting.

About me:
Hello. My name is Dracula, but you can call me the Count. Not because I have a degree in accounting (heaven forbid), but because I can count the seconds it will take for you to fall in love with me. So go ahead, look into my eyes, deep, deep into my eyes, and see for yourself the type of man that I truly am. That is, if I am a man at all! As some call me a savior while others call me a sinner. But as far as I'm concerned, I am someone who is trying to stay alive by avoiding garlic, crucifixes, sunlight, and anything sharp that might penetrate my heart. Will you penetrate my heart? Or will you become a part of it? Either way, love, light, and peace... welcome to my world.

First date:
As I'm not a big fan of religion, sunlight, and food with garlic, I suggest that we avoid dining during the day in a French restaurant that's near a church. Instead, I'd prefer that we go out at night, sometime around midnight, and maybe take a long stroll somewhere remote (just so we can get to know each other). Or if you so wish, you can come to my castle in Transylvania where we can have a chat and a quick drink (yum-yum). In any event, it would be my pleasure to make your acquaintance, but only if you are an open-minded lady who isn't scared of people with Romanian accents and pointed teeth.

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