THE CROW'S DATING PROFILE

This month, Lionsgate will release their remake of the 1994 supernatural thriller, 'The Crow', which revolves around a murdered musician who's resurrected by a magical force in order to avenge his and his fiancée's demise. The new film has been directed by Rupert Sanders and stars Bill Skarsgård, FKA Twigs, and Danny Huston. So, to celebrate, I thought that it would be a jolly good idea to take a look at the titular character's dating profile. Here 👇, check this out.

Personal information:
Full name: Eric Draven / Age: Whatever's written on my headstone / Occupation: Musician / Location: Detroit / Relationship requirements: See the following answer for details / Longest relationship: The only person I have ever truly loved is my dearly departed fiancée, Shelly Webster

Distinguishing features:
Height: 6 ft 4 inches / Weight: 85 kg / Build: Athletic / Hair color: Dark brown / Eye color: Gray

Other attributes:
Do you like animals? I like all animals, except for those savage f*ckers who killed me and Shelly / Do you drink? Not now I'm dead / Do you want children? I always wanted to have children with Shelly, but since we were both murdered, there's no chance of that happening / Do you consume drugs? No comment / Do you drive a car? No, mainly because the government discriminates against people like me from driving... dead people

Favorite:
TV show: 'The Thorn Birds' / Song: 'Black Crow Blues' by Bob Dylan / Actor: Walter Pidgeon / Singer: Sheryl Crow / Nurse: Florence Nightingale / Film: 'The Birds' / Color: Black / Meal: Roast duck / Quote: 'There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?' - Woody Allen

Hobbies:
Wearing dark make-up around my eyes. Listening to sad music. Showing off my tattoos. Avoiding the sunlight. Washing my hair with oil. Smelling of eggs. Dressing up like a German rent boy. Impersonating a pelican. Thinking about Shelly. Fantasizing about Shelly. Dreaming about Shelly. Playing with my yo-yo.

About me:
Hello. My name is Eric Draven, and I'm dead. Not completely dead, otherwise I wouldn't be here communicating with you. So, for the sake of transparency, I think it would be best to mention that I was murdered by a bunch of b*stards and then resurrected with an array of special abilities. This includes the ability to recover from any physical injury, along with enhanced strength, speed, and agility. Heck, I might even have more special abilities tucked up my non-existent sleeve. But before I try to figure that out, first I have to track down the scum who murdered me and my beloved Shelly. Want to come along for the ride? Come on, I promise that it will be fun, and I won't go on, and on, and on, and on, about my love for Shelly. I also promise not to mention those savages who killed me and my one true love or how my very existence has now been changed by a supernatural force beyond my control. But then again...

First date:
Some time ago, before we were both murdered, Shelly and I went out on a date together that I thought was fairly memorable. Our date began in a fancy restaurant located in Downtown Detroit, just so the two of us could have something nice to eat and drink. She had a pasta salad, a side order of guacamole, and a coffee, while I had a plate of magic mushrooms and a Diet Coke. After our meal, we decided to have a romantic stroll along a nearby canal, which made us so horny, we couldn't help but make out, under the pale moonlight. Boy oh boy, that was such a great experience. Not only because me and Shelly spent some quality time together, but because I also embraced the color of the pale moonlight, which has now become a great cosmetic choice for the color of make-up I apply to my face. What do you like to apply to your face? And can I help with your selection? Much love, Eric.

To see more character-based dating profiles, please feel free to click here to check out our section dedicated to all things love.